Meh…

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That’s how I feel today – meh… woke up at 7 am, stayed in bed for a while, trying to fall back asleep, failed at that, got up, had breakfast. Then got back in bed and slept until noon. Feel tired and uninspired, at least today. Would love to just lie on the couch all day, watching TV, but thought I should at least do something “constructive”. Also, there isn’t really anything to watch. πŸ˜€ So here I am to whine about my life. πŸ™‚

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I’m in my 23rd week of pregnancy, proud that I have made it this far – all this is hard work. It isn’t too bad in the recent week or two, but before that there were a few days when I was thinking (and saying) – I’m done. I can’t. Can someone else just take over now, even just for a little bit? I just want to feel normal! This better be worth it, because I’m going through so much, and I do believe I’m having it easy. My tummy is itchy as f**k, I’m smearing whatever I can on it, praying that I won’t get stretchmarks. My guts are in pain from every little gas that passes through my intestines, I proper can’t hold back moans when that happens. Every time I go to pee, which is every half-hour sometimes, I get stabbed in the tummy, so much, so painful, that I can’t even stand up straight afterwards and feel like I need a walking stick like an old crab. My mood swings are also not nice, I can be set off to tears by the smallest things, and have to remind myself – it’s just hormones, it is alright, It’s not that bad. I spent half of a night until 4 am crying because I didn’t feel comfortable. One evening I just sat in bed and cried, and laughed at myself at the same time because I didn’t even have a reason, I just felt like crying. I struggle putting socks or shoes on, or even trousers, anything, the bump is in the way. I’m always hungry, and when I eat, I feel I’m blowing up like a balloon, can’t move, just want my couch. I can’t imagine how I’m going to be able to carry the baby bump when it gets, like, 3 kg heavy because it’s already hard, and it now weighs only around 0.5 kg. On top of all that, I need to stay active, exercise, walk a lot, etc. to prepare for the hard work that is labour. And when I’m active, my left ear pops and I can’t breathe like a normal person because of it. Also my brain often leaves me and I can’t name things or describe what I’m thinking, so my sentences end up containing mainly the words “thing”, “thingy” and “stuff”.

That is how I felt a few weeks ago. I have either gotten better, or have just gotten used to most of the above, and it isn’t too bad now. By the doctor’s recommendations I’ve upped the dose of magnesium supplements and am also taking cranberry syrup for bladder health, I guess that has helped somewhat. Two days ago me and my partner went for a long walk, for over two hours, in a brisk pace. That is very good, considering that a month ago it was half-hour in a slow pace and I almost crawled back home with stabbing pains in my tummy. A very good improvement. My mood is usually also good, some days I feel so good, I want to dance, be goofy and active.

I went shopping for clothes again to charity shops, and am very glad that I bought two new pairs of maternity trousers/jeans, two maternity T-shirts, and a onesie for the baby. The first maternity jeans still kind of fit but are not very comfortable anymore. I’m very glad that I don’t have to spend a fortune just on clothes for myself that I’m only going to wear for a few months.

Tonight me and my partner are going to attend the first class on childbirth (out of three classes) at the hospital where I’m planning to give birth. We’ll see how that goes, I’ll take laptop with me, but don’t know how much I’ll be able to use it. Was hoping to write down everything that the midwife says in English, so that my partner can also understand what’s going on because he doesn’t speak Latvian. He understands some bits of conversations in Latvian sometimes, but mostly he normally just zones out. πŸ˜€ Don’t really want to be the person who is annoying to everybody else because of whispering translation into my partner’s ear. I hope we’ll be fine. πŸ™‚

Have seen two movies about mums in two days. We watched Mother’s Day at home, and yesterday treated ourselves to watching Bad Moms at the cinema. ItΒ was so funny, we loved it! Want to go see Ghost Busters next, enjoy the ability to go places while we can! πŸ™‚

 

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