Hello world in my first ever blog entry ever. Don’t really know what I’m doing, I guess this is going to be like shrink sessions for me – letting my thoughts and feelings off my chest, and also documenting my journey to having a family. I don’t really care if anybody reads this or not, but if you are here – welcome and hope you enjoy living through it with me.
So, in short about me – my name is Baiba and I am a 31 years old Latvian woman, a translator. Languages has always been my passion and skill, and one of the benefits of this profession is being able to work from home, which for me personally is heaven. Sleeping in longer, no need to spend time and money to travel to work, or to worry what I’m going to wear. If i want to, I can spend the entire day in my jammies. Ho lazy am I? Ha ha! I have always wanted a family, have a partner, get married, have children. Right now, pretty much all my girl friends have accomplished this task. My two best friends are married and both have two children. Me – I haven’t gotten further than getting a partner who wants all these things two.
So, nearly two years ago I met my man Bob (not really Bob, but he doesn’t want his name on here). Actually, I didn’t really meet him – he is from the UK, we stumbled upon each other online, started talking and fell in love with each other. But getting to meet was a real struggle, as karma did not let us meet for about seven months up to my birthday when I was basically ready to give up if anything else went wrong. Oh, the stress and emotions I went through back then, that was a bitch. But that’s a different story for a different time. Anyway, eventually he moved to Latvia about a year ago and lives with me now. He left his job to come live with me, in the not so nice country that is Latvia – a shithole compared to UK. For various reasons our life together is very much not easy, but I love him so so much, he is my world.
From day one of meeting, we have been trying to make a baby, but unfortunately have not yet succeeded. It’s something I want so much that it hurts. Every time I get my period it’s a tearfest. Hopefully we will succeed, in which case, this blog will turn into pregnancy blog and a baby blog after that. But until then, anybody who reads anything I write will be wanting to ask: “Would you like some cheese with that whine?”
In short about the process of attempting conception until now. In the first few months we just carelessly spent time together and didn’t really get tense about result, with a mind frame that it will happen when it will happen and a baby knows best when to arrive to this world. No stress about the baby making, also because we had other things in our lives to get stressed about. In some months we failed simply because we didn’t have much sex because of his aches and pains (due to a past injury he is in pain pretty much all the time) at the time that I was supposed to be fertile. Well, my mind frame has changed now and I have started to worry that there is something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just paranoid, I don’t know. For a bit I was trying to take ovulation tests, yet they all came back negative, don’t know if it’s because I didn’t do them on the right days or because there just was no ovulation. Recently I’ve been thinking to try and address that with doctors and see if I’m fertile at all. That is scary and I’m still clinging on to hope that it will happen, that everything is fine with me and that conceiving just simply takes time. So no doctors for now. I might give ovulation tests a try again some time soon. I have always had a cycle calendar, and have tracked the fertile times, but recently I (finally) downloaded an app that is much more in-depth all about conceiving, fertile days, measuring basal temperature, and registering all kinds of other details every single day. I hope that will prove helpful with our conception struggles.
That’s about it, nothing more to add about our general situation. More detailed posts to come in the near future. Wish myself luck and strength, I guess. 🙂